Backlash

09 May, 2026

The obituary I published in the local newspaper in the area where my parents lived got people to talk to my uncle and my aunt. They happen to live in the same area. The word on the street is that my parents entered a viager contract with people, who share the same sickness in their minds. Another rumour is that my parents were saying they had no family.

The first news was partly a relief, because I don't want this house or deal with it. This thing is full of bad vibes. It's angry with what it has seen for at least half a century. I joked that if I ever have to sell it, I'd get an exorcist to clean it before putting it on the market. In truth: not a joke.

The no family news did – seriously – upset me. I spent 4 hours mulling over it. I went to bed around 1 am, my head spinning with shitty revenge ideas. I woke up at 5 am, my head in my ass, and kicked myself for having ruined the evening. I closed the matter, and came back to normality. Later that day, I spoke about it with my partner. She told me she had seen me diving into some dark realm the minute I heard the news – I had become unreachable, incommunicado. I told her about my journey, how I got dark, how I chose to come back to the Light.

A couple of days later, we spent the evening with a mutual friend, who has had her fill with bad stuff too. I told her about the effect the no-family rumour had on me. She said: "Many times I dreamed I could punch, hurt, really cause pain, but I realised I haven't that in me...". I had to tell her I was there too, many times, and that like her, I never punched back. I don't have that – evil thing that my father and mother have in them – in me either. But to be totally honest I told her that one day, I did threaten my father that if he was to punch me, I would retaliate. I had my fill of it, and on that day there would have been his blood on the carpet. His violences stopped. She had heard that from other people: the decision to retaliate that neutralised the offender. That discussion helped me. A few days earlier I had chosen the Light. On that very day, in my heart, I committed to remain in my own light and to not visit my darkness again. At least on this topic.

I made contact with the notary in charge of the succession. I learned that my parents had arranged a mutual donation to the survivor. That means there's no succession until my mother dies. Good. Really good. This was arranged 23 years ago, at the time they fucked up with my life. Wow. It's yet another example about how sick people project their own sickness on other people. Did it backfire?

Now. I am waiting for my aunt to make her DNA test and get the result. I have exchanged with a few people about the two possible outcomes:

the simple explanation is confirmed: he was not my biological father, he decided to not act as a father, my mother preferred to see me punched for ~15 years rather than taking the hand offered to her by her own family, or
he was my biological father and I don't have an explanation for what I have been through.

A second backlash is around the corner, whatever the result. Yet I don't feel it will happen: (1) any answer is better than none; (2) I do that for myself, and only for myself.